..
..
Congratulations.
You have found a secret page. There are
6 Secret pages hidden on this site. The other 5 are far more interesting than this one.
A biography by me.
..
..
Jonathan the Jester was the result of spontaneous supermutational metamorphosis in 1994. As with Superman and Batman, tights were involved. His mother, guided by the fates decided to create a costume for a pompous magician/showbiz wannabe who had about as much charisma as dandruff. (He worked for the Jobcentre for crying out loud - and thought he was important and everything - PRATT!)
The very next day he went back to work at The Jobcentre and gave himself some brilliant careers advice. "Stop working here!" He shouted at himself and his peers. "I don't know how you could do that job anyway." All of the long term unemployed shouted at him with contempt and disgust. On that day, everybody in the employment service quit their jobs. And nobody got their giro cheques that week. Riots and social unrest ensued.
Meanwhile Jonathan was analyzing his strengths in his new career. Having served as a store magician at Hamleys, a Bluecoat at Pontins, a Juggling Club instructor, a part time drama teacher at a school, and having a degree in Drama, he decided to start over. He became........
He put on the costume, caught sight of himself in a shop window and thought "Hey! I'm looking goooooood!"
Suddenly he had to urge to do charity work, laugh, ride a unicycle, and love all of those ordinary lesser beings who had blighted his life for so long.
. ........ Jonathan the Jester.
....
In October 1996, five months after I left The Employment Service, Unemployment Benefit was replace by a newer, more dynamic and streamlined system. After seven years of research, studies, committee reports and parliamentary debate, the dated system of UB was finally going to be replaced.
David Hunt, Micheal Portillo, William Waldergrave and Gillian Shepherd, amongst the finest brains in John Majors government, (all of whom could beat most brownie guides at junior trivial pursuit) finally came up trumps:
Job seekers Allowance.
JSA as it was known was different in several vital ways:
1: It is spelt differently
2: It only lasts for 6 months
3: It was even more beurocratic
4: It had a different logo. The Employment Service had only had four different logos in the previous 4 years, costing millions in stationary and signs on each occasion, so this was seen as counter revolutionary. I mean if you're a Tory and you can't give them jobs, at least give them a variety of letter heads to look at.
One noteable change was that for the first time ever, clients (the unemployed) were required to attend the Jobcentre dressed and ready for work.
I made sure I had no work that week and astonished my former colleagues by registering as an unemployed jester. Dressed and ready for work.
IN LATER INSTALMENTS:
How I was appointed
by the Mayor of Salisbury
How I raised over £22,000 for charity in one year
How I found love by being The Jester.